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fawlty towers quotes

It's nasty. Dr. Abbott: How often can you and your wife manage it? And may I welcome your war... your war... you wall... you all... you all, and hope that your stay will be a happy one. You know, perhaps I should be more specific: "Hotel for people who have a better than fifty percent chance of making it through the night. Mr. Hamilton: Tell 'im if he doesn't get on the ball, your gonna bust his ass! Colonel Hall: [ordering drinks] Two small and dry. google_ad_width = 336; Basil Fawlty: ...Right, right. Bust his...? Basil Fawlty: [desperately] Look, look, look, you know the horse? Ah, yes Mr O'Reilly, well it's perfectly simple. "Lay it on the line!". The plots centre on the tense, rude and put-upon owner Basil Fawlty (Cleese), his bossy wife Sybil (Prunella Scales), the sensible chambermaid Polly (Booth) who often is the peacemaker and voice of reason, and the hapless and English-challenged Spanish waiter Manuel (Andrew Sachs), showing their attempts to run the hotel amidst farcical situations and an array of demanding and eccentric guests and tradespeople. Ah, well. Mrs. Richards: The manager's from Barcelona? Continental cretin. He's from Barcelona. Eating the nuts, if you please! If this was back in the States, I wouldn't board my dog here! [In trying to quiet Miss Tibbs panicking over a dead guest, Polly knocks her unconscious]. Birds. Special subject – the bleedin’ obvious. [Basil and Manuel look intently under the table in the area of his fianc?e's legs]. A lot of layabouts with nothing better to do than to cause trouble! Come on. [Basil has taken the lamb dishes out of the kitchen to greet Mrs. Hamilton at reception]. Basil Fawlty: [Frantically typing at a typewriter] He's out! Sybil Fawlty: I have had it up to here with you. Basil Fawlty: START! It exploded in my face. He's from Barcelona. If you're not over here in 20 minutes with my door, I shall come over there and insert a large garden gnome in you. Basil Fawlty: [glancing underneath his chair] Apparently. Basil Fawlty: And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat up your nightdress. German: Will you stop talking about the war! Master Heath: I'd like some bread and salad cream. Manuel: [still not comprehending but parroting Basil]... clean... clean... [exasperated, Basil picks up Manuel and carries him under his arm into the dining room]. Mrs. Richards: And another thing. Basil Fawlty: Ah, Polly, uh, give Mrs. Richards this, would you? That's a laugh. That wasn't the fire bell! Major Gowen: Oh yes, oh yes, so it has! I mean, we've waited for that wall about as long as Hadrian. You've tried it on just once too often! Mrs. Wilson: Well, I make it twelve o'clock. Sybil Fawlty: I cannot abide cruelty to living creatures. He's not very strong. Fawlty Towers Quotes. Basil Fawlty: [with a withering look] You don't have a first name? No, no, senor. What's, uh, what's wrong with them, then? Doorknobs. Mrs. Richards: Now, listen to me. Basil Fawlty: Please, don't alarm yourself. Master Heath: [cutting in] I don't like the chips. That's your lot. [Fawlty runs off, then comes back and starts furiously beating the car with a tree branch]. Sybil Fawlty: [to Mrs. Richards as she elbows Basil] Did you bang your head? Now, if you would... Polly: He's PICKED the onions and he's SMASHED the eggs IN HIS CUPS, UNDER THE TABLE. Basil Fawlty: What are you doing? Mr. Hamilton: [Arriving in the hotel] What a drive, huh? A lot of layabouts with nothing better to do than to cause trouble. Coping's easy. google_ad_height = 280; Basil Fawlty: Thank you, dear. Major: No, nor would I. Basil Fawlty: Yes there is, at twelve o'clock. Basil Fawlty: No, you didn't, quite right. AND A SCOTCH AND WATER, PLEASE! What's "away" in Spanish? Herds of wildebeasts swinging majestically... Mrs. Richards: Don't be silly. Basil Fawlty: [puts phone down] I'm SO sorry to have kept you waiting, your lordship. No, no pay, no Room 16! While we're away, CLEAN the windows! Basil Fawlty: Rosewood... mahogany... teak? Basil Fawlty: [quietly] This is typical. Sybil Fawlty: It's been sitting there for two weeks, Basil. [to Manuel] Stupidissimo! Open spaces. Guest: I’d need a telescope to see that. Basil Fawlty: Oh, do I have to go through this every time? The series is set in Fawlty Towers, a fictional hotel in the seaside town of Torquay on the "English Riviera". She has stuffings in her mouth to pretend she is swollen. Poke-in-the-eye shape? Basil Fawlty: Cancel it? Mr. Hutchinson: Yes, it does. When I asked you to build me a wall I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile you might have found time to cement them together... you know, one on top of another, in the traditional fashion. Basil Fawlty: [to Polly] Idle hands get in the way of the Devil's work, Polly. Absolutely spiffing. Basil Fawlty: [grabbing Manuel before he scurries away] No, not you! Major Gowen: Oh! Come on! Fawlty Towers Quotes Do you remember me giving it to you? Basil Fawlty: [walking away] Yes, I'll get hkhammer and hkhit you on the hkhead with it hkhard. German Guest: We did not! Polly: How many sheets? Basil Fawlty: I'm so sorry. Basil Fawlty: I'm sorry, are you talking to me? She’s a worrier. Lord Melbury: Melbury. Sybil Fawlty: I am actually about to undergo an operation, Basil. Why don't you check these things? Come on, pack your bags and get out. Basil Fawlty: Umm... yes... done, of course, in three extremely different ways. Footballs. That and the potato famine I suppose. Mrs. Richards: When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that. She grabs the table and looks round to see if they are still filming. 1, 2, 3, right, that does it. Mrs. Richards: [looking at Manuel with his fingers in his ears] What ARE you doing? Sybil Fawlty: Yes, yes, I know. Basil Fawlty: I'll ruin you... you'll never waitress in Torquay again! How am I supposed not to worry? Basil Fawlty: No-no, Hadrian. You're always refurbishing yourself. Basil: Alright, I’ll put an ad in the papers, “Wanted: kind home for enormous savage rodent! Basil Fawlty: Then why is she telling you?

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